


Fake It ‘Til You Make It

by mammaparrilla



Category: Mamma Mia! (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Danya - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Movie: Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, Rosya, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15858306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mammaparrilla/pseuds/mammaparrilla
Summary: After Tanya caught herself in a lie that was a little too promising, Rosie steps in to be her fake girlfriend to get her out of this sticky situation. But will the two end up catching feelings for each other in the end?





	1. SOS

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is honestly my first time doing a longer fan fiction, so I really hope you all like it! Please give me criticism on my twitter @mammaparrilla , I’m open to suggestions as well! I love getting new prompts, so if you have any ideas, let me know! mwah!

Tanya hadn't seen her parents in months. Ever since she started college back in August, she avoided them at all costs. She loved them, of course, but she had left for college with one huge lie she wasn't ready to face. 

Tanya's arrival at college was nothing short of exciting. To escape the pressure of her parents was a relief. Tanya wanted nothing more than to slip right out of her parents' fingers quicker than they could grasp back on. Mr and Mrs Chesham-Leigh had high expectations from Tanya since day one. As an only child, they expected her to be perfect. Perfect grades, perfect attendance, Ivy-League college acceptances, and biggest of them all, a boyfriend. Ever since Tanya entered high school, her parents were constantly playing matchmaker, trying to find "the one" for her. So when she got to college, it was the perfect opportunity for a lie. Tanya simply told them she was in a relationship, and they never asked another question about it. In fact, they stayed out of her life almost entirely. They never even bothered to meet her roommate and new best friend, Rosie Mulligan.

Tanya and Rosie were tied to the hip since day one. Tanya showed up to Oxford all on her own, wanting for her parents to just leave her be. Rosie, of course, helped Tanya move in. That first night, Tanya explained everything. Rosie comforted her and helped her through it. Even in the darkest of times, the two girls stuck by each other. Always. 

Their friendship bonded throughout the first few months, so when Tanya promised her parents she would come home for Thanksgiving, it was no surprise that Rosie offered to accompany her. 

"Rosie, you really don't have to do this, I mean, my parents are honestly pretty nasty. Besides, they're expecting me to be coming with my 'boyfriend' so I think they would be pretty angry if I showed up with you instead. I love you, you know I do, but I just can't see this ending positively in any way, shape, or form," Tanya said firmly. She wanted her best friend to be there with her more than anything, but she knew it wasn't logical. 

"Okay, but your parents have already paid for two tickets out all the way to Los Angeles, the whole round trip, a whole week long vacation. They have paid for a rental car for you, and they have agreed to pay for basically everything for you and your 'boyfriend' while you're out there. They can't get refunds on those kinds of things, and they are just trying to do what's best. They just want you to be happy, you know that. That's why they want you in a relationship. What even did you ever tell them?" Rosie asked. 

"Well, after the first week, they called me and asked me how college was going. Of course I told them how everything was great, and that wasn't a lie. I told them all about how cool you were, and they asked if I had found a lucky guy yet. I tried, of course, to swerve the question, and I said that I had found 'somebody' I was interested in. A few weeks later they followed up, I told them I was in a relationship, and that was all," Tanya said with a sigh. 

"So you never told them you had a boyfriend, you just told them you were in a relationship," Rosie clarified. 

"Yeah, but that doesn't make a difference," Tanya said. 

"Oh, but it does," Rosie reassured a puzzled looking Tanya.

"Listen. You never told your parents you had a boyfriend. So, I'll come as your 'girlfriend'. Your parents will be baffled, and honestly probably won't even want to talk to you if they're all you say they are. You'll have the free vacation week and we can come back. We can just fake it for the day until they kick us out, and then when it's around Christmas time, you can tell them that we broke up and we can deal with it in the then. This way, I can come and support you through this horrific family scene, you can have somebody to hang out with, and your parents can have what's coming for them," Rosie exclaimed proudly. 

"You really think this will work?" Tanya asked. 

"It definitely will," Rosie responded. 

"Well, we've got a lot of planning to do. We need a story, and we need to have it down so well, we could write a love story about ourselves." Tanya said. 

So the two got to work. They decided on all the smallest details. They talked in between classes, and constantly went to dinners, all to perfect the fib. Their first date was a picnic on the beach, and they rode their bikes around the shore, watching the sunset. Their second date, they went to the movies to see 'Ocean's 8'. Their third date, they went to a dinner, where Rosie formally asked Tanya to be her girlfriend. They lost track of the dates since then, after going on so many. They wanted to wait before getting too physical, since that was a serial Tanya was sure her parents would take interest in. They were 'madly in love' and had even considered kissing around Tanya's parents to anger them further, but decided that perhaps that would be taking it a bit too far, as they were only fake dating, after all. Tanya made sure Rosie knew everything about her family, front and back. She wanted Rosie to impress them, in hopes that it almost came off like Rosie would overdo it just enough to get Mr and Mrs Chesham-Leigh to leave the two alone. 

On the day of the trip, Tanya and Rosie's nerves nearly got the best of them. They went through security, telling jokes and reviewing their background the whole way through. They even practiced on a bar tender they had seen a few nights before, getting him to ask them questions about their 'relationship'. They had this in the bag, and they were both sure it would work. 

The plane ride lasted longer than they expected, to the point where Rosie couldn't even keep herself awake. She fell asleep on Tanya's shoulder, and Tanya couldn't deny that it made her feel soft inside, knowing Rosie could rely on her for even the smallest things like using her as a pillow. Tanya rested her soft, brown hair on top of Rosie's, and she shortly fell asleep, too, with a giddy little smile on her face.


	2. Does Your Mother Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Tanya’s parents react to meeting Rosie?

The girls woke up alarmingly to the taps of a flight attendant. 

"Excuse me, ladies. The plane has landed. Were you planning on getting off?" she asked. 

Tanya and Rosie were frightened, but after realizing that they could still get off the plane, they laughed it off. They had arrived early that morning California time, so they had the whole Sunday to waste. Tanya had told her parents she would be landing that night, so they had the day to themselves, excited to explore Los Angeles. After a quick breakfast, they decided that the beautiful day couldn't go to waste. Thus, they headed to the only logical place to go in California on such a gorgeous day: the beach. 

They took an Uber all the way down to Malibu beach. When they arrived, it was even more stunning they had imagined. They laid out their towels under, applying sunscreen on each other before lying under the warm sun. The ocean was a perfect turquoise, like the type you would see in the movies, with calm waves and the cleanest, softest sand they had ever seen and felt. There were probably a good few hundred other people scattered along the beach, all soaking in the relaxing November sun. California never failed to bring warmth all around, regardless of the time of year, which was a nice change from the rainy days back at Oxford. 

"So, tell me," Rosie began. "You said this is your first time at Malibu, but how is that possible? Doesn't every person who lives in Los Angeles go to Malibu at least a few times?"

"Rosie, I've explained this to you," Tanya laughed. "My parents just moved here right after I moved in to college, so I've only been here once or twice before. And believe me, I didn't do too much exploring. This is our fun little adventure, and as long as everything goes according to plan, this week is going to be AMAZING!" Tanya exclaimed. 

Rosie giggled and gave a soft smile, warming Tanya's heart in a different way than how the sun was warming her body. 

"Hold it right there!" Tanya said. She pulled out her camera and began taking pictures of Rosie. "The angles, the lighting, EVERYTHING! It's all perfect!" Tanya proceeded to take a dozen more pictures of Rosie before laughing and putting it away. Rosie's smile made Tanya happy in a way she hadn't felt before, but it was probably all just from the excitement of being on this new adventure, Tanya convinced herself.

Next stop was lunch at the best Mexican restaurant the girls had ever been to, followed by a boat ride out on the ocean. Tanya knew how much Rosie liked boats, and she knew that a couple hour tour of the area would be like a dream come true for her little ocean explorer. Rosie, as expected, was in love with the whole trip already. The boat ride really sold her, and she appreciated how greatly Tanya cared for her. Tanya wasn't a big fan of boats, so Rosie knew she booked the tour all for her. And that meant something to her. It meant more than something, actually, because it meant a lot. 

The girls toured the beaches, watching animals swim by in the ocean, watching other boats sail by, and just taking in the salty ocean air and the gentleness of the day. Never had they seen such pretty oceans, so pure and gorgeous, so calm and relaxing. Rosie was, of course, asleep half way through, but Tanya couldn't help but giggle and smile at the napping girl as she watched the boat make its way back to Malibu beach. As the girls made their way back from the beach, they reflected on how amazing their day had already turned out. 

Next, however, came the part both girls had been dreading. They knew it was time to go to Tanya's house, something neither of them wanted to do, but they knew they had to. That week was about to be either the greatest or worst week of their lives, and it all depended on how convincing they could make their lie. 

They headed over to the Chesham-Leigh's, a cozy townhouse in a nice neighborhood swarming with dogs and kids playing outside while parents watched or read the newspapers on the front lawn. The townhouses were all a clean shade of white, all nice and neat, something the two girls were not so accustomed to in their dorm. As they knocked on the door, Tanya was greeted with open arms by her parents. Her mother had chestnut hair around shoulder length, and quite clearly was trying to live out her youth through anti-aging cream and a boat load of brown hair dye. She was a near copy of Tanya, and it was quite obvious where Tanya got her looks from. 

After her mom gave her a hard squeeze of a hug, Mr Chesham-Leigh followed. He appeared to be slightly overweight and bald, and he looked nothing like his wife or daughter whatsoever. He gave Tanya a pat on the back, and took a step back to stand next to his wife. At this point, Rosie had gone unnoticed, practically hiding behind Tanya in fear. Clearly, neither parent had the best eyesight, as they both missed Rosie entirely. 

"So, where's this boyfriend of yours?" Mrs Chesham-Leigh asked. Tanya opened her arms to reveal Rosie, shy and quivering at the awkward situation. 

"Yeah, um, about that," Tanya began. "When I said I was dating somebody, I didn't really mean I was dating a boy," she said as though she kept it a secret. Tanya was hoping for a dramatic reaction and to be kicked right off their driveway, but she was shocked by their reaction. 

"Oh, well, that's alright I suppose! What is this beautiful young lady's name?" Mrs Chesham-Leigh asked. 

"Rosie Mulligan, pleased to meet you, ma'am." Rosie responded. 

"Oh please, call me mom" Mrs Chesham-Leigh said with a chuckle. Just the thought made Tanya shiver, thinking about having to spend the week with her parents now. 

"Mom, would you excuse Rosie and I? We have to bring our luggage upstairs," Tanya said. She needed to talk to Rosie, and fast.


	3. Knowing Me, Knowing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Rosie and Tanya solve the issue at hand?

“God. What the hell are we supposed to do now?” Tanya whined. She was pacing back and forth around the guest room, bland as ever but it was all they had. And of course, it only had one queen sized bed for the two to share. 

“How about we calm down and discuss our options?” Rosie suggested. Tanya plopped down onto the bed, right next to Rosie. 

“We can’t break up the relationship, less your parents will hate you for the rest of the trip. And we are staying here, so you can’t avoid them.” Rosie stated. 

“Yeah, that’s true,” Tanya began. 

“So, the only logical thing to do, I suppose, is to just keep the fake relationship going for the rest of the week, and perhaps try to actually enjoy the rest of our free trip to California?” 

Tanya nodded and sighed. She didn’t want her parents to hate her, so Rosie was right. This was the only logical thing to do. God, how was that girl always right? She’s so clever, Tanya thought to herself with a smile. 

“Well, we should probably get some rest. Can’t fake date without some beauty sleep,” Tanya said with a giggle. Rosie laughed along with her and nodded her head. 

God, her laugh! I never get old of that laugh, Tanya thought. 

Tanya claimed the left side of the bed, leaving Rosie on the right, not that she cared. The bed was all white, like something right out of a hotel. The pillows were soft and fluffy, and the bed felt like you were lying on a cloud. The two girls got under the covers as they shut off the lights, and once they got comfy. Tanya and Rosie turned to each other and smiled. The two shut their eyes and drifted away. 

————————————————————

The next morning was a gorgeous, sunny Monday, and the weather was equally as perfect as the day before. Tanya was the first to wake up, and as she nearly rolled over, she noticed something. She had woken up spooning Rosie, and accident or not, Tanya wasn’t necessarily unhappy about it. She smiled and chuckled to herself as she swiftly and quietly climbed out of bed. She fumbled through her stuff to pull out an outfit, and the first thing she found was the White lacey patterned tube top Rosie had bought her just a few weeks before. She grabbed a pair of jean shorts and threw them on. Perfect, she thought as she combed through her silky brown hair. 

Shortly after, Rosie began to wake up. She stumbled into the bathroom, preparing to splash some cold water on her face. However, that wasn’t necessary. Just the sight of Tanya herself looking hot as hell in the shirt she bought her was more than enough waking up she would ever need. She smirked to herself and commented, “that top does look great on you.”

“Well, you should know. You did one hell of a job picking it out,” Tanya said with a smile. 

Tanya left the bathroom, and Rosie couldn’t help but take one good look at her ass before getting back on the task of getting ready. 

Rosie threw on a white tank top with blue, orange, and yellow stripes. She paired it with a pair of overalls, not dungarees, as it was too hot outside for dungarees. The sight of Rosie made Tanya want to whistle, but instead, she simply turned to Rosie and said, “you look good. Really good.” 

Rosie blushed a bit and responded with a mere “thank you” as the two walked out the door. 

The two girls sat down at starbucks for breakfast that morning. 

“So, when are you going to tell me where we are going today?” Rosie asked. 

“All in good time. But trust me, you’re gonna love it. A lot.” Tanya said with a smirk.

Tanya was supposed to spend the day with her parents, but she was shocked to hear them encourage her to go alone with Rosie. Normally, her parents would have taken every opportunity to hold her by the reigns, but now that she was in a relationship, they were acting so different. They were genuinely happy for her, and they actually supported her for once. It felt like her parents were replaced by some really nice aliens, and she was even more shocked by how okay they were that she had a girlfriend. They always seemed like the type to want Tanya to follow “the norm”, but lately they’ve just been overall much kinder to her. 

“Hey Rosie. you know, you’ve never told me what your family is like,” Tanya said. 

“Well, they’re something else. I guess I’ve just dissociated with them over time, so for me, I never have a reason to talk to or about them. They weren’t bad parents or a bad family, I just was never really close with them I guess. My moms were always really supportive and kind as a child, and my siblings and I were close. But we were all adopted, so my siblings and I had weird age gaps. I have a sister and a brother. My sister was adopted after me, when I was 10 and she was 3. I took care of her and played with her a lot when we were little, but as we got older, she grew closer with my brother, who was adopted when they were both 7. I was a teenager, and, you know, it got harder to stay close. Now she’s a teenager and I don’t really see her, same to my brother. My moms just haven’t really called me since I left for college, not quite sure why. So i’ve honestly just not spoken to them enough for me to have something to say. No drama or anything, just a sweet family with poor communication skills, I suppose.”

“God, Rosie, I’m so sorry. If I knew I wouldn’t have asked, but I’m sure they still care for you. I mean, they’re your family.” Tanya said. 

Rosie smiled and nodded a little, staring into Tanya’s beautiful eyes. Tanya stared back into her kind, sky blue eyes. The girls just sat there and smiled, and it felt like there was nothing in the world that could separate them. It was them against the world. The world simply felt like a dream. One big, happy, dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know this chapter is pretty bland. The beginning of it was better, I know, but believe me, the fun is just beginning.


	4. I Have A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tanya takes Rosie on a special trip.

“So, where exactly are we going?” Rosie asked. The girls were in the rental car driving down to the mystery location. Tanya was excited for Rosie to realize, but she didn’t find out up until they got there. 

Once they arrived at Disneyland, Rosie nearly screamed out of excitement. Tanya knew she had never been to a Disney park, or really any amusement park for that matter, so this day would be an exciting one. 

“How’d you remember? I think I told you about a month ago, I’m shocked that stuck with you!” Rosie exclaimed. 

“What can I say, I have a great memory,” Tanya stated while laughing. “So, you’ve really never been on a rollercoaster?”

“I’m not too spontaneous,” Rosie said. 

“Well, welcome to Disneyland, where spontaneous is your middle name!” Tanya responded. 

Rosie giggled and picked up a map, amazed at how big the park is. “God, so much to do, where do we even begin?” Rosie said in amazement. 

“Well, we have the whole day, so let’s do as much as we possibly can!” Tanya said with excitement. This would be fun. 

They decided to start on thunder mountain railroad. At first, Rosie was a bit scared and startled, but then she demanded they ride it twice more. 

They followed by going to the spinning teacups, where Rosie got dizzier than she does when getting out of bed first thing in the morning. They headed to astro-blasters, where Tanya dominated. The girls played it until Rosie won, which took four more turns. By that time, it had already been past noon, so the girls grabbed a lunch at the castle. 

“So, how had your first time in Disneyland been so far?”

“It’s been amazing! It’s so fun! But I thought you said you’ve never been to California? How do you know this place so well?”

“Well, I’ve been to DisneyWORLD, so I know a few of the rides, but my biggest help has been the map, obviously,” Tanya said with a giggle. Rosie laughed along with her as she took another bite into her french fries. Tanya watched her, smiling. Rosie was so happy, and Tanya was so glad she had brought her on this trip. God, what would she have possibly done without her? 

Tanya’s smile was enough to make this the greatest day Rosie had ever experienced. She knew Tanya had done this all for her, and it made her heart warm thinking about it. Tanya cared about this trip, and she cared more about making Rosie happy than going to different places herself. Tanya sacrificed part of her trip for Rosie. It made her happy to think about that. 

The two girls rode rides all afternoon. From Its a Small World to Splash Mountain, the girls, needless to say, had an amazing day. The sun began to set, and the girls sat on a bench and watched. They grabbed dinner and looked back on their amazing day. 

“And I had soooo much fun! I’m almost sad to leave, but I know we mustn’t stay too long, as the park will probably be closing soon. I’m ready to head out when you are,” Rosie said. 

“But wait, there’s still more. The day isn’t over quite yet.” Tanya said with a smile. Her bright green eyes were gleaming with joy, knowing it was going to be amazing. 

As the day wrapped up, and the sky went dark, there was one last key part to any day at a Disney park. The fireworks. The gorgeous, breathtaking, amazing fireworks. Tanya took Rosie out in front of the castle, and she laid a soft blue blanket on the ground. The girls laid down, mickey ears on their heads, and they smiled. The fireworks began, and they were magical. Beautiful thundering spurts of reds, blues, yellows, and everything in between. Instrumental music was playing, and it was slow and soft. “A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes” was being performed by the band, soft and sweet and romantic. 

“So, did you have a good day?” Tanya asked. 

“Absolutely amazing! The rides and the food and the weather and just everything was so insanely spectacular!”

“I’m glad you liked it,” Tanya said with a giggle. 

There was a few moments of silence before Rosie replied. 

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I loved it. Thank you, Tanya. Really, thank you.” Rosie said quietly. 

Moments passed by. The two girls stared into the other’s dreamy eyes. Their eyes were glossy and gleaming and purely happy. Everything felt perfect in those very moments. The sound of the fireworks booming in the air, the music playing, and simply the moment they had shared was more intimate than any moment either of them had ever shared with anybody else. 

As the fireworks were dying down, Tanya did one of the scariest things she had ever dared to do. She leaned in towards Rosie. Rosie leaned in back. They put their foreheads on each other’s, laughing and smiling. They continued to look into each other’s eyes until Tanya couldn’t take it anymore. She grabbed Rosie by the back of her head and pulled her in to a kiss. Their lips brushed and they smiled, and Tanya’s lips took Rosie’s with a strong, passionate grip. There was something about the way their tongues collided that made the world feel perfect. All the pain, the fear, the beauty, the anger, it all came through in the passionate lip lock. As Rosie pulled away, their noses rested against each other’s. Tanya put her hand on Rosie’s face, brushing it lightly against her right cheek. Tanya spoke few yet powerful words. 

“You, Rosie Mulligan, are spectacular.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one was a bit shorter, but I really hope you liked it!


	5. One Of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after Tanya and Rosie’s passionate kiss?

The kiss was a mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake. Afterwards, Rosie freaked out. The two girls drove home in complete silence. Tanya even slept on the couch that night. She didn’t speak to her parents about it, because she knew they would blame it on her. Plus it’s kind of weird to explain the situation, and her parents would ask too many questions. 

Tuesday morning, the girls woke up at the same time. They got ready in silence, despite being next to each other the whole time. 

“Listen, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I don’t know what got into me, I mean, I’m straight! And definitely not interested in you like that. I don’t know, I just suppose I wasn’t in the right state of mind. I’m really sorry.” Tanya said softly. 

Rosie continued to ignore her. What’s the big deal? Tanya wondered. They spent their morning watching movies, all rom coms. In silence. Every time there was a kissing scene, Tanya could feel Rosie tense up near her. She just couldn’t understand what went so wrong. Sure, Rosie was straight and so was Tanya, but it was just a kiss, it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. 

They continued to move in silence for the rest of the day. Rosie seemed more upset than anything, while Tanya was just utterly confused and guilty. She just couldn’t understand why she kissed Rosie, and she couldn’t understand why Rosie reacted the way she did. All she knew was that she couldn’t keep sitting there in silence. 

“Would you at least tell me why you’re so upset?” Tanya asked abruptly. 

“Fine. If you want to know why I’m upset, here you go. That was my first kiss. That’s right, I’ve never kissed anybody. I always dreamed of it being special and magical and with somebody who I dated and was in love with-“ this part hurt Tanya in a way she couldn’t understand. 

“And I suppose I just didn’t want this all to happen like this” Rosie said with a huff. 

“Oh come on, it’s just a kiss! It’s not like I took your virginity or something!” Tanya whined. 

“See? This is why I didn’t want to tell you. You’ve probably kissed a thousand people. Hell, I doubt you’re even still a virgin! The way you talk and flirt like anybody with lips is hour perfect match. You could never understand what it is like to want to share something special with somebody. I want intimacy and love, not some silly little one night stand! WE AREN’T EVEN DATING, TANYA! I mean, this is all fake! My firsts are things I hold near and dear to me and you took away my opportunity to share my first kiss with somebody special. You’re a filthy little slut, Tanya Chesham-Leigh, and you’ll never change!” Rosie blurted with tears running down her face. She ran out of the room, out of the house, and Tanya didn’t even follow her. She simply sat there in silence, allowing for the anger to brew within her. 

A slut? Oh my god. What the fuck is she thinking? She has no clue who I am. She has no clue she was my first kiss. She has no fucking clue. I can’t believe that little bitch! I can’t believe I brought her here, just for her to disrespect me! When I get back to Oxford, I am SO getting a new roommate! Tanya thought. She punched her pillow out of anger before climbing onto her bed, staring at the ceiling for hours. 

After a much needed rest, Tanya realized that her anger wasn’t, in fact, anger. It became sorrow. She wondered where Rosie went and if she was coming back. Tanya missed her best friend. She wanted so bad to have somebody to talk to about it, but she knew the only person she ever had to talk about these things with was Rosie. Tanya wished she had answers. Answers to everything. But she had none. All she could do was lie in her bed, waiting for the answers to come to her, even though she knew that they never would. And it stung knowing she would never be able to explain herself.

Rosie had went on a walk. She didn’t know where to, but she knew she needed air. So she walked. She walked for miles and miles and miles, just thinking about life. She was trying to calm down, but she couldn’t. The only person who was ever able to calm her down was Tanya. God, how she missed her best friend. She needed her, but if Tanya couldn’t respect Rosie’s boundaries in their fake relationship, then Rosie simply could not find a way to respect their friendship. Tears streamed down her face for miles, and it was the longest walk she had ever taken. After the first 5 miles, her legs hurt worse than after her day of walking around Disney, but Rosie knew her only option was to keep walking until she felt better. But what now? She thought. I could request a new roommate, of course, but I’m still stuck in California until Saturday. I have no place to go, and I hardly have any money. Hell, I hardly even have any clothes. God I was stupid to leave my stuff back at Tanya’s, but there is absolutely no way I’m going back there. Over my dead body. 

Tanya, confused more than ever, had managed to cry herself to sleep. She woke up next morning to the sounds of a door quietly opening, and just as she was about to go back to sleep, she noticed it was Rosie. She squinted her eyes just enough to see Rosie, but not enough for Rosie to realize she was awake. Rosie began packing her things back into her suitcase, and as she began to exit Tanya’s house, her curiosity got the best of her. When Rosie unlocked her car, Tanya managed to climb into the trunk after Rosie went inside to grab one more thing. Now this, this should be an interesting adventure, Thought Tanya. But Tanya didn’t think of where she was going or what she might be doing, she simply sat in silence watching the streets pass by.


	6. Why Did It Habe To Be Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where is Rosie going? What will Tanya do to stop her?

An hour passed by. A whole 60 minutes of pure silence, a whole 60 minutes of a clueless Rosie driving to god knows where. But then Tanya heard Rosie's GPS say she was just a few turns away from her destination. Tanya had to think, and she had to think fast. 

She would need an explanation of why she was in Rosie's trunk, for starters. Something that didn't make it sound like she was in love with Rosie, because she wasn't. Then she would need to find out where Rosie was planning on going. Then she would need to convince Rosie to stay. That would be the hardest part. Tanya was trying to think of a solution, but it was too late. The car stopped and the trunk was open, and Tanya's thoughts were interrupted by a screaming Rosie. 

"I CAN EXPLAIN" Tanya shouted. Rosie stopped screaming and all her anger hit her at once. She grabbed her bags and let Tanya out of the trunk, but she began to walk away. 

"Where the hell are you going?" Tanya asked. 

"Well, I was going to leave and head back home, but your shit rental car just broke down, in case you didn't notice. So I'm going to walk to the airport, and you are going to walk home. Good luck." Rosie said stubbornly. 

Tanya ran towards Rosie and grabbed her by the sleeve. "You can't just leave. I need you here. And the airport isn't for a while. We are much closer to my house. We can get a car towed and we will move from there. But I need you to stay here. My parents will kill me!"

"Oh boo hoo," Rosie said with absolutely no sympathy. "Maybe if you had thought of the consequences of your actions for once, you wouldn't have gotten yourself into this mess, dumb whore!" Rosie shouted. 

"WOULD YOU STOP. CALLING ME. A WHORE!" Tanya screamed. She took a deep breath, and began to resume the conversation. "Rosie, listen. I meant it when I said what happened was a mistake. I don't know what got into me. But if I never see you again, I need you to at least know this. I'm not some whore. I say things wildly inappropriate because it was my only way to fit in throughout high school. You were my first kiss. I've never kissed a guy, and I've never kissed a girl. I've never had sex or done anything like that, and yes, those things matter to me!" Tanya said, practically all in one breath. 

"Then why did you do it?" Rosie asked furiously. 

"I don't know, okay? I really just don't know. Maybe it was just my way of coping with the fact that I've never had somebody genuinely care about me, romantically or not. I guess I just didn't know how to react okay? My parents have never showed me any affection. I never had some amazing teachers who loved me. I never had close friends who went out of their way to hang out with me. I didn't get invited to parties. I didn't get asked to prom. I didn't even have any friend to go to prom with! So i skipped. I skipped prom. My mother hated me for it. I didn't skip prom because I wanted to, I skipped prom to save myself from yet another lonely, sad, social event where I was simply reminded of how literally nobody has ever cared about me! So yeah, I got a little excited when you started to care about me. You were my first real friend. You were the first person who ever really cared about me in that way. I don't want to date you, okay? I'm straight and don't like you like that. I just didn't know how to react. And if you still want to leave, go ahead, leave. I'll make my way around somehow. But right now, I really need my best friend to help me make it through the rest of this week with my parents, or not only will my parents not care about me, but they'll shun me for the rest of my existence. I need my best friend. I really need you, Rosie." 

Rosie had tears in her eyes. She had never heard something so powerful. 

"I'm here," Rosie said as she gave Tanya a hug. "I'm right here."

Tanya sobbed into Rosie's sleeve for another half an hour. Once she finally calmed down, the two sat in the car. 

"We should probably call a towing truck," Rosie said to break the silence of the after-cry. "I mean, we have to get home somehow."

"Yeah, you're right. I'll call one and we can walk the next few miles. After all, there really is no point in waiting for a ride. And the sun will be setting soon enough, so we should probably head out," Tanya said. Rosie nodded, and after calling the tow truck company, the girls began their 3 mike walk. 

Tanya offered to carry some of Rosie's bags, but Rosie insisted she was strong enough to hold them on her own. The girls talked about college and California and everything except for the elephant in the room. They avoided it at all costs. When they reflected on their trip to Disney, the kiss was ignored so easily, it was like it had never happened. Tanya was just relieved to have her best friend back, but something felt missing. It's like regaining her best friend made her realize what she had really wanted. Well, at least, she realized that she cared about Rosie too much to lose her. But she didn't realize the sense in which she cared about Rosie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok guys so anyway beware of chapter 7 it’s gonna hit y’all with the feels so hang tight, i’ll be posting it probably in around 2 hours aaaah! cuz yes i already wrote it but i had to space this shit out anyway i hope y’all like it!


	7. Angel Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GUYS OK THE BEST CHAPTER YET YOU DONT NEED A SUMMARY JUST READ IT THIS IS GAY EXCELLENCE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like the summary said: GAY. EXCELLENCE.

The girls walked all the way home. By that time, it was already late, and they were both exhausted from the hike. The girls had hugged off and agreed to be friends. They crashed the second they got home, falling asleep next to each other, both smiling yet again. 

Thursday morning was like Christmas morning without the gifts. It was hectic and everybody was running around tryin to get stuff done. Mrs Chesham-Leigh was frantically cleaning the dishes while Mr Chesham-Leigh vacuumed the life out of the floors. Tanya and Rosie had slept late, but not late enough that they could avoid the crazy task-giving wrath of Tanya's mother. She asked them to start decorating the dining room, so Tanya grabbed the Thanksgiving box from the closet and the girls got to work.

Their first task was to hang the fairy lights. However, Tanya couldn't manage to find a stepstool, so she had to climb on top of poor Rosie to be able to hang up the lights. She fell down a few times, but never truly injured herself. 

In the middle of them laying out the table cloth, Rosie asked an odd and unexpected question. "So, do you have that one gay cousin like everybody else does? Not like I'd be offended, just cuz, ya know, is that like an actual thing in every family?" 

"God, no, I'm pretty sure everybody in my family is straight" Tanya said after thinking long and hard. Saying that made her tongue sting. Then it hit her like a truck. 'Maybe I'm the gay cousin,' she thought to herself. In that very moment, it had felt like god decided to hit her with a truck. Everything had made sense. God, how could she be foolish enough to even believe she was straight? All signs pointed to gay this whole time! Tanya didn't know what to do next. Everything was swarming inside her head, and the world became crystal clear as she started to realize that the way she cared for Rosie wasn't a best friend way, but rather, a crush way. 

They spent the rest of the time decorating and chatting and cleaning until Mrs Chesham asked Tanya to help her stuff the turkey. Rosie went upstairs to shower before the dinner, something Tanya decided she would do after she finished stuffing the stupid turkey. 

Tanya's emotions were still flooding in her head. She needed to talk to somebody. Her mom, she realized, was her only hope. She let all of her feelings poor out. She told her mom everything. All about the arriving at college and lying about being in a relationship and about the crazy idea they had to fake date. She told her mom how she was scared of disappointing her, and she explained the whole day at Disney, front and back. She told her mom about the plane ride when Rosie fell asleep on her, and she told her how magical the kiss felt to her. She told her about sneaking into the car and all the crazy things she had done for this girl, and Tanya got a reaction she didn't really expect. 

"Honestly, honey, I'm happy you told me this. We haven't had a real conversation in years. I thought we had drifted. I figured maybe, just maybe, being in a relationship and spending less time in the house would make you realize that you, just maybe, did want to spend a little time with me. I wanted to leave you alone and let you figure out the world on your own, and I figured maybe if you got a boyfriend, you'd realize what I knew all along. Honey, I've known you liked girls. It's been so obvious for so long. My whole life I have just tried to do what's best for you, and I'm so happy you have found your path and discovered yourself all on your own. God, Tanya, I've missed you too much. It was so hard trying to let you be out in another country off to college on your own. But I knew if I left you to do it alone, you would discover things you would have never have been able to discover if I had called you every night. And Rosie? You should tell her how you feel. Even if she rejects you, she deserves an answer. She deserves an answer to everything that's been going on. You should talk to her."

"I'm scared. What if this ruins our friendship? We have such a good friendship. And how am I even supposed to tell her? Just walk up to her and say 'hey, I'm in love with you'? It's not logical." Tanya sighed. 

"I have an idea, just listen to me," Mrs Chesham-Leigh reassured. 

Thanksgiving dinner rolled around. Rosie and Tanya did each other's makeup, and they both looked breathtaking to the other. Tanya felt nervous, but Rosie felt conflicted. She didn't know how to feel about everything that had happened that week. It was all still a lot for her, and she was still unsure of how she felt about Tanya. However, she knew she had to push that confusion away for tonight, as it was her job to play the role tonight, for the sake of Tanya and her relationship with her family. The last thing Tanya needed was her parents hating her because she thought Rosie had 'lost her feelings'. Tanya was counting on her tonight, and Rosie knew she needed to be there. 

At dinner, the family ate, drank, talked, and Rosie felt like she fit in perfectly. She played the part and remembered everything they had discussed prior to the trip, and she executed everything perfectly. However, there was one part where Rosie just genuinely didn't know what to do. Mrs Chesham-Leigh announced that it was 'thankful time', and Rosie had no earthly clue what that meant. Tanya turned to her and whispered softly in her ear, "just say something you're thankful for." 

Rosie was told to start, as she was the newbie, so she stood up and said she was thankful for Tanya and her family for hosting her this week. Each person at the table went around and shared their thank you's, and Rosie mostly spaced out. That is, until it was Tanya's turn. Tanya stood up, pulled out a piece of paper, turned to Rosie, and began to read. 

"I'm thankful for your voice  
I'm thankful for your hair  
I'm thankful for the way you dance like no one else is there  
I'm thankful for your laugh   
i'm thankful for your smile  
I'm thankful for the way we cuddle every once in a while  
I'm thankful for your eyes  
bluer than all the oceans  
I'm thankful for the way you make me forget how to feels emotions  
I'm thankful for your lips  
I'm thankful for your nose   
I'm thankful for every part of you  
from your head down to your toes  
although sometimes we fight  
I'll remember in the end  
that you make my heart feel full  
if it breaks it may not mend   
I know that you're mad  
and although you might not care  
I need you to know I love you  
I need you to know I'm there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS OK SO THIS ISNT THE END OF MY FIC ILL UPLOAD CHAPTER 8 TONIGHT OR TOMORROW OKAY THERES MORE GAYNESS TO GO AROUND JUST YOU WAIT


	8. Chiquitita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will Rosie say?

Just after, the dinner ended. Rosie still had yet to respond. After all the guests left, Rosie finally pulled Tanya to the side. 

“Tanya, that was beautiful,” said Rosie humbly. Tanya smiled with satisfaction and her eyes were gleaming with love and joy. 

“But I’m just not ready to commit to anything. I’m honestly still not sure of my sexuality, and I’m just at such a confusing point in my life. I hope you can forgive me. I really, really want us to stay friends and I really don’t want to switch roommates. Just give me some time to think about things, alright? I will switch my flight and maybe you can even stay late if you want, and we can talk about this again next week perhaps. I really care about you and I just wish I had the answer, but I don’t. I’m so, so sorry Tanya.”

Tears welled up in Tanya’s eyes, but she couldn’t let Rosie see that. She ran upstairs into her room, shoving the bags that Rosie had packed just that day before outside of the door. She shut the door and locked it, letting the tears poor out. It stung so bad, the pain simply running through her veins. At one point, Mrs Chesham-Leigh had knocked on the door, trying to get Tanya to talk to her. But Tanya kept the door locked, continuously weeping for hours and hours on end until she had cried herself to sleep. 

She slept until later Friday around noon, and she had received a text from Rosie when she had woken up. The text, however, had been sent at 9 am, and it was only to let Tanya know she had boarded the airplane safely. Tanya rolled over, wanting nothing to do with Rosie in that moment. But Tanya knew she couldn’t stay inside all day, that she had to go do something. 

Tanya grabbed her bike outside and headed down to the local diner nearby. She stepped inside and proceeded to grab a seat by the counter, which was set up like a bar. That’s when a curly, dirty blonde haired goddess walked up to her. She was wearing a white crop top under her apron and a pair of jeans with cuffed bottoms, and she was stunning in every way. 

“Hey there, can I take your order?” She asked in her gorgeous voice. 

“Yeah, give me some coke and rum,” Tanya said with a laugh. 

“Ah, nothing better than starting off the morning with a good slap in the face. And might I say, Heather Chandler would be proud” The girl added.

Tanya’s face froze. ‘Holy crap,’ she thought. ‘She likes broadway’.

“So is there anything I can actually get for you today, or did you just come here to make broadway references?” the girl asked with a giggle. Her laugh was adorable. 

“Yeah, can I get a cup of coffee, as bitter as it comes,” Tanya said with a sigh. 

“Do you actually like your coffee that bitter, or are you just having a rough day?” the girl asked with a smile. 

“Both I guess,” Tanya murmured. She had no intention of the girl hearing, but upon the comment, the girl walked around the counter to sit next to Tanya. 

“What happened?” the girl asked. 

So Tanya explained everything. She nearly burst into tears, trying to hold back all the love and confusion and everything that just drove her insane. 

The girl looked at Tanya with sympathy. She looked at her watch next, and she hurried up. 

“I have to get back to work, my boss will be here any minute. But hold on one second, I’ll get you your coffee. For here or to go?” the girl asked. 

“To go,” Tanya said with a sigh. The girl ran back to the kitchen and came back with a cup of coffee in a to go cup. Tanya looked on top, where there appeared to be writing, and there was the girl’s number. 

“I’m sorry about what happened. Maybe we could go to this really cool bar nearby, and we could try to take your mind off of things?”

Tanya smiled and nodded, relieved she had something to do. 

“I’m Donna, by the way. Donna Sheridan.” The girl said. She smiled at Tanya gently before reentering the kitchen. Tanya went home, still hurting, but at least glad she had made a friend who was there to listen. Her heart ached, and she nearly texted Rosie to see if she wanted to come, but then she remembered what had happened, and she shut off her phone and threw it on her bed, her body shortly following. She sighed and screamed into her pillow. She cried a little, and felt angry, but knew she would have to get over it, because that night, she had plans. Real plans. Real plans with people at bars like what normal college students do. She felt a little relieved to be finally invited somewhere, and just to be finally able to fit in, even if it was just for a little while. She knew this couldn’t last forever, but a temporary ease of the pain was good enough for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one was short also sorry for torturing y’all but i had to! next one will be long and i like it but maybe you guys won’t, oh well, because i know y’all are sluts for rosya and will hang on for as long as possible to find out what happens


	9. Dancing Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will go down at the bar? SMUT WARNING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING YALL

Tanya grabbed the white tube top Rosie had given her. It hurt, but it was her cutest shirt, and she had to learn to get over Rosie. She slipped into a black jean skirt that barely covered her ass, threw on some heels, grabbed her purse, and walked out the door. There was Donna, waiting in the car, honking sillily at Tanya. Tanya giggled and ran into the car, promptly getting into the passengers seat. The two cranked up the music, and Donna played her best broadway songs album. The two jammed out at full volume, practically screaming. Once they got to the bar, the two stepped out. 

"Wow. You look totally hot!" Donna said with a laugh. She was wearing a skin tight black dress with spaghetti straps, looking sexy as ever. 

"Oh, don't even get me started, miss vogue!" Tanya replied. Donna gestured Rosie inside, the girls already smiling. They immediately went straight to the bar, and Donna ordered them each a coke and rum. 

They sat, talking about life for a good 45 minutes. They had more drinks than they could count, and by the time they stood up to dance, Tanya could barely walk straight. Donna laughed at the sight of the clumsy girl, and she escorted her to the dance floor. 

The girls danced like they never had before. Tanya was wasted and sweaty but she felt great. Donna began grinding up against Tanya, and although Tanya usually liked to take charge of things, she just let Donna do her thing. The girls danced for hours and hours, and once it was 2 am already, the girls sat back down for a few more drinks. 

"So," Donna said. "It's late, you're wasted, and I think it's a bad idea for you," she said with emphasis while pointing into Tanya's chest, "to go home. I propose I call an uber to pick us up, and I'll go get my car in the morning. You can come back to my house, and we can wind down. What do you say?"

Tanya agreed, knowing nothing would happen between the two of them. She stumbled her way out the door, with a significantly less drunk Donna guiding her out. They drove home, chatting away, but the second Tanya walked into Donna's apartment, she began to sob. Her words were slurred, and Donna barely understood her. 

"Can I make you feel better?" Donna asked. 

"How?" Tanya sighed. 

Donna slowly crept onto the ground in front of the couch where they had sat, stopping right in front of Tanya, and Tanya nodded with a smile. If Tanya were sober, perhaps she would have wanted to think about the decision longer, but she was drunk and she was in pain and she just needed a break from everything. 

Her phone pinged, and she noticed it was a text from Rosie. 

"Just wanted to let you know I made it home," the text read. Tanya immediately shut off her phone, ignoring the text entirely. 

"What was that about?" Donna asked. 

"Nothing," Tanya responded quickly. "Now," she said seductively, "where were we?" 

Tanya pulled up her shirt, revealing her lacey black bra. She allowed Donna to gracefully unclip it. Donna looked Tanya deep in the eye. 

"Are you sure about this?" she asked. 

"Definitely" Tanya responded with a smile. 

"Please be okay with this, because I know you're drunk," Donna said worriedly. 

SMUT WARNING UNTIL END OF CHAPTER——————————————

"I am," Tanya said. She pulled Donna in for a kiss, letting Donna take charge right after. The kiss was messy and passionate and slobbery and amazing, and Tanya felt like she was on cloud nine. Donna moved lower, sucking on Tanya's neck, successfully leaving hickeys all over it. She then moved lower, popping a nipple into her mouth. She sucked it, and let it pop right out of her mouth. She did the same to the other, and then she grabbed her boobs again, moving them around as she took Tanya in for another kiss. She then pulled Tanya's skirt down, slipping it off over her heels. Tanya was wearing black panties that matched her bra, Donna noticed. Those came off not a moment too soon, removed gently and seductively. 

Donna reached in for one last, passionate kiss, before slowly trailing her mouth down. She sucked on Tanya's sensitive skin on her thighs, before latching her mouth onto Tanya's clit. Tanya began moaning as Donna's tongue swirled around, while her hands played with Tanya's boobs, and occasionally tickling her thighs a bit. Then, without warning, she shoved her tongue into Tanya, forcing a much louder, more surprised moan out of Tanya. Donna let her tongue slide in and out, her rhythm matching Tanya's sweet, hard moans. She took her thumb and started rubbing Tanya's clit, moving it around in circles. She quickly switched positions, letting her tongue suck on Tanya clit once again, and Donna quickly shoved a finger up Tanya's dripping wet pussy. She swiftly moved it in and out, and once Tanya began moaning more out of pleasure than pain, she added another finger, pumping in and out slowly. 

Tanya, panting hard, managed to squeak out the words "faster please," to Donna. 

Donna did as Tanya requested, sticking in a third finger as she pounded her hand into Tanya. She finally found Tanya's g-spot, and she pounded it until Tanya came, screaming Donna's name. Donna spent another minute or so eating Tanya's pussy again, before moving in for another kiss. 

After pulling out from the kiss, Tanya let out a sigh of relief. 

"God, that was-" Tanya began. 

Donna laughed, and Tanya laughed with her. Tanya slipped into a pair of sweats Donna gave her, and the two fell asleep spooning in Donna's bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the smut was probably awful lol, in case you didn’t notice i have never written smut before oof


	10. Lay All Your Love On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sick of writing these summaries honestly like y’all know what’s up just read it

The next morning, Tanya woke up peacefully, but she immediately jumped at the sight of Donna. She had remembered the night before quite clearly, and although she didn't regret it, she knew she couldn't let it happen again. Besides, there was no time. Tanya's flight was leaving later that day. 

Donna woke up at the sound of Tanya creeping out of bed. 

"Good morning," she said with a smile. Tanya, however, had a massive headache. Donna handed her an advil and a glass of water, which Tanya popped in her mouth immediately. 

"Thanks for last night. Really, I had a great time. But, I have a flight in-" Tanya checked her watch. "-six hours. I really should go home and pack my stuff and say goodbye to my parents," She said while changing back into her own clothes. She started heading out, and Donna simply nodded and smiled. 

Tanya ubered back home, passing by her parents saying nothing but   
"late night, stayed at a hotel."

Tanya ran upstairs and threw her things together, knowing her parents would want to grab lunch with her. 

"So, what ever did happen between you and Rosie?" Mr Chesham-Leigh asked at lunch. Mrs Chesham-Leigh nudged him with her elbow, but he clearly wanted an answer. 

"She's just not ready for a relationship right now, I guess. I don't know, but I'll be seeing her when I get back to university, so I'll talk to her then, I guess, assuming she's ready to talk to me." Tanya responded with a sigh. 

"Just don't push it. She needs time, she's confused. She cares about you, you know. I can see it in the way she looks at you." Tanya's mom said gently. 

"Really? I don't know. We will have to see what happens." Tanya said. Her parents clearly thought she was eager to see Rosie, but the truth was, she was scared. Would she tell Rosie what happened between her and Donna? Probably not. It's not like it would ever be something to come up, and she knew she had no reason to ask Rosie if she had done anything, because she knew Rosie hadn't done a thing. Tanya had avoided the topic for the rest of lunch, not wanting to think about Donna or Rosie. She just needed time to herself. 

Tanya spent the whole flight just listening to music, trying to take her mind off of all that had happened on her trip. Tanya had been exhausted from the night before, having gotten nearly no sleep. But for some reason, she could not seem to fall asleep that night. Every time she shut her eyes, she either thought about Rosie or she thought about Tanya. She was conflicted, unsure of her feelings for either one, unsure of how to address either issue. 

She stayed up the whole 10 hours, not arriving home until around 4 am UK time. She was exhausted, but the second she had walked back into her dorm, she remembered. Rosie. 

Rosie was deeply sleeping in her own bed, so Tanya crept into hers, trying her best to fall asleep. After an hour of staring at the ceiling, simply thinking about life, Tanya finally fell asleep, knowing she would end up waking up too late to talk to Rosie that day. Rosie spent her weekends with her friends from the area, since she grew up there, so Tanya typically didn't see Rosie during the weekend if she slept in too late. 

The next morning, or really, afternoon, Tanya woke up. She got up and grabbed a bowl of cereal, and it wasn't until she sat down to eat that she noticed Rosie, still in her bed, still sleeping. It was unusual for Rosie, as she always woke up early. By the time Tanya finished eating, Rosie was just waking up. 

"Hey, what happened? You NEVER sleep this late!" Tanya said worriedly. 

"I just had a rough night, I suppose." Rosie responded with a sigh. 

Tanya got scared for a moment, wondering if Rosie had done something. 

"What happened?" Tanya asked. 

"My mum was in the hospital until late hours, I didn't come home until 3 am." Rosie said with a yawn.

"Oh my god, Rosie, I'm so sorry! What happened to her?"

"The doctors don't know, she just passed out, completely out of the blue. They took blood tests and things while she was unconscious, and my other mum and I stayed up waiting for results, but at 3 the doctors told us they wouldn't have the results until today. They should be up now, actually," Rosie said reaching over to her phone. 

Tanya anxiously watched Rosie open her phone. 

"Yup, right here. Text from my mum. 'Doctors aren't sure what caused it, but she just woke up. Her head is fine, but she says she is very lightheaded and is struggling to eat. Only thing that will be happening today is tests, so don't bother coming in until later tonight, you just enjoy your day and try to get some sleep. mum.' Oh god, I hope she's alright." Rosie said with tears in her eyes. 

"Hey, hey, it's okay. She's awake and clearly not much damage was done, they will figure it out in no time. You owe it to your mom to not spend the day worrying, that isn't what she would want. How about you and I go out and grab some coffee, and we don't even need to talk about it at all. Sound good?" Tanya asked with a smile. Rosie nodded and smiled back, quickly getting changed before the two rushed out the doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that short one, that’s all I have to say rn lol but chapter 11 will be out today or tomorrow


	11. Take A Chance On Me

When the girls arrived at the coffee shop, Tanya was reminded of the diner where she met Donna, which looked so similar. As she ordered her coffee, she couldn't help but wonder if Donna was at work at that diner in that very moment. 

The girls got their coffee, and they began to talk. 

"So," Rosie began, "what did you do with the last few days in California?" 

Tanya nearly choked thinking about it, but she managed to get her words out. "Oh, just family bonding time and stuff," she said. She wasn't ready to talk to Rosie about what happened. "What did you do?"

"Well, I arrived early Saturday morning. Later that evening, I ended up going to the hospital because my mum had fallen down the stairs. She was fine, but I didn't get home until around 3 am this morning," Rosie said. 

"God, I'm so sorry, Rosie. I wish I could've been there." Tanya said sincerely. 

"It's alright, it made for good bonding time with my mums and siblings. We all discussed my trip, you know. They helped me talk about what I've been going through. I suppose I always felt pressured to like girls because they did, and so when you began to fancy me, and I began to fancy you, I thought it was all some mind trick trying to convince me to fancy girls because of my mums. But we all talked about it, even my brother and sister. God, they're so old and mature now. They're 11 now. It's crazy. They even contributed to the conversation. We all talked about it together, and we decided that I should give it a try. As long as it doesn't hurt our friendship, I think I'm willing to try a relationship with you, Tanya," Rosie said with a smile. 

"I would love that. Can I maybe take you out to dinner tonight? We can take things slow, but I believe a first real date is in order," Tanya said gracefully with a laugh. 

"I would love nothing more," Rosie said happily. The girls talked for the whole afternoon, and they went home to unpack. They talked about each other's lives, just trying to get to know each other. 

"How did your parents react when they found out about what happened?" Rosie asked. 

"You know what? They were really supportive. They were just trying to understand and to relate to me, just trying to help me. They truly are changed people now. They genuinely cared about me this week. I'll be honest, it felt great. It meant a lot knowing I can rely on them now. They were just here for me, and it made such a difference in my relationship with them. You really changed them, you know that, Rosie?"

"No, Tanya. YOU changed them." She responded with a smile. 

Later that evening, the girls got ready for dinner. Tanya had made reservations at a fancy restaurant nearby, one known for their amazing wine and spectacular cakes. Tanya knew how much Rosie loved cake. The girls ate and talked and discussed their relationship. 

"You know, I'd really love for you to meet my friends someday. Maybe I'll talk to them later tonight and see if they would be interested in that. Is that something you'd want to do?" Rosie asked. 

"Definitely," Tanya said with a smile. "I'm sure your friends are lovely."

"Yes, they're something of the sort," Rosie said with a laugh. "But they're really great friends. Very supportive and kind, but very wild and are definitely party people. Not my type, but somehow, we all just click so well. It's pretty amazing," she laughed. 

The girls finished up dinner, and when they got home, Rosie got into a bath and called up her friends. Tanya stayed on her bed, watching whatever program was on tv. Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up. It was a text from Donna. 'Hey ;)' it read. Tanya cleared the notification, in absolutely no mood to discuss the other night with Donna. It was all history, old news. Plus, Rosie would freak if she found out. What happened Friday night would remain something that stayed between Donna and Tanya, and Tanya would make sure of it. She was in a relationship with Rosie now, after all, so she didn't think Rosie would be too happy seeing Tanya text some stranger who used winky face emojis in her texts. Tanya had nearly fallen asleep when Rosie came running out out of the bathroom. 

"Tanya! Guess what? My friends are all dying to meet you! They said there's this new day club that opened around the corner from campus, and they want us to meet them there tomorrow afternoon. We can stay, grab some drinks, eat dinner, and have fun! What do you say? Oh, please say yes!" Rosie begged. 

"Are you sure? Maybe alcohol isn't the best idea," said Tanya. She was thinking back to the last one she had gone to a bar. Donna. 

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun! Maybe I'll finally break out of my silly little shell for once and learn that I need to live my life!" Rosie said. Rosie wasn't at all a spontaneous person, but Tanya could see that she was trying to change for her. 

"Alright, alright, we can go. But we are taking an uber. I won't drive drunk, I won't let you or any of your friends drive drunk, and I refuse to leave a car there over night." Tanya said firmly. 

"Alright, alright!" Rosie said with a giggle. Her face was lit up like a little girl who was just told she could have dessert, and it was clear to Tanya how much meeting her friends meant to her. And clearly, Rosie wanted to prove to Tanya and her friends that she could have a good time. This worried Tanya a bit, as she had no clue what drunk Rosie was like, but this also left a spark of interest. Rosie's smile had convinced her, though, and all she cared about in that moment was Rosie's happiness.


	12. Honey, Honey

After their last classes that monday, the girls got ready. Tanya tried to cover up a bit, but Rosie went all out. Tanya was completely shocked by the girl's lack of clothes, but Rosie looked hot as hell, so she wasn't complaining. At around 1 pm, the girls left after grabbing a quick lunch. Tanya met all of Rosie's friends, who were so cool. They were definitely Tanya's type, but she couldn't see how Rosie fit in so well. However, the girls insisted that Rosie knew how to get wild every once in a while. 

The bar was filled, which was surprising for the time of day. The girls grabbed drinks and danced away, but by the time it was 5 pm, Tanya and Rosie had lost practically everybody. Tanya was a bit tipsy, but at that point, Rosie was absolutely hammered. She had more drinks in those four hours than Tanya had had over the past month. She was shocked with Rosie. Maybe Rosie's friends were right. Rosie's friends had all run off with guys, and Rosie claimed that dinner probably wouldn't happen, as none of them would be in the bar by that time. Rosie was sure of it, too. And she was right. 8 pm rolled around, and none of Rosie's friends could be found anywhere in the bar. Tanya had been pretty drunk, but Rosie was falling over, bouncing off the walls, screaming at the top of her lungs drunk. Tanya was worried she would black out, but Rosie insisted that she's done this plenty of times and that nothing ever happen. 

"We, we should go home," Rosie began.   
"We should go back to our dorm, and we should LOSE OUR VIRGINITIES!" she screamed. 

Tanya nearly shook at the thought of 'losing her virginity' since she had never told Rosie what happened. 

"Rosie, we shouldn't. This isn't you. If you were sober you wouldn't want this," Tanya insisted. 

"That's not true! I've been thinking about it for days, and I realized that I can't just be some boring prick who waits for the perfect moment. I need to quit being a pussy and go get some pussy!" she screamed. She grabbed Tanya by the arm and dragged Tanya out of the bar, calling an uber as quickly as she could. Tanya was okay with this, but she was worried Rosie would do something she would regret. 

Before she knew it, Tanya was being rushed back into the dorm, Rosie shoving her into her bed, grabbing her shirt, already kissing her passionately. 

"Rosie, I really don't think this is a good idea, I really don't think this is what you want," Tanya began. 

"But it is!" Rosie screamed. Clearly Rosie had put a lot of thought into this before, so Tanya just rolled with it. 

SMUT WARNING FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTER, BUT YOU MIGHT MISS AN IMPORTANT PART SO SKIP TO THE VERY END IF YOU DONT PLAN ON READING THE SMUT. THIS WONT BE AS SMUTTY AS THE LAST TIME FOR THE PURPOSE OF THE STORYLINE———————————

Tanya knew Rosie wouldn't be able to dominate her much longer, so Tanya pushed Rosie onto the bed, taking lead. Rosie pulled off her clothes, a surprising yet reassuring move for Tanya. Tanya proceeded to remove her own clothes, slowly stripping while occasionally stealing soft kisses from her girlfriend. Tanya kissed Rosie slowly down her stomach, and before things got serious, she looked at Rosie one more time, who gave a reassuring nod. 

Tanya began to suck on Rosie's clit, sending shivers up her spine and throwing her head back with a moan. Tanya continued to suck and swirl her tongue. 

"God, I never knew how good this could feel!" Rosie said ecstatically. Tanya, still sucking on her clit, began to pump a finger in and out of Rosie, but shortly taking it out to replace it with her tongue. She rubbed Rosie's clit with her thumb, and Rosie was practically shaking out of pleasure. Tanya then switched back, pumping one finger in and out again. As Rosie moaned harder and louder, Tanya stuck in a second finger, causing Rosie to release a surprised gasp. She added a third not long after, slowly picking up the pace until Rosie came. 

"That was AMAZING!" Rosie shrieked. Tanya smiled and giggled a bit, and as she reached to put her clothes back on, assuming Rosie wasn't ready to try anything else, Rosie grabbed Tanya's arm.  

"Wait-is this where we stop? Shouldn't I be pleasuring you too?" Rosie asked. 

"Oh, I mean, I just didn't think you were comfortable enough yet to do that," Tanya said before Rosie pulled her on to the bed. Rosie was clearly confused, and looked up to Tanya for help. 

"Okay, just kiss me. I know leading isn't your forte, but trust me, a kiss can lead to so much." Tanya said gently, hoping the advice would even remotely help. Rosie followed the instructions, taking Tanya in for a kiss. Tanya moaned as Rosie moved down and kissed her neck and breasts, quickly moving down to Tanya's soaking wet center. "So I just-" Rosie said before Tanya nodded. Tanya knew Rosie could figure out what to do. 

Rosie awkwardly shoved her face into Tanya, but it didn't take long for her to figure out what she was doing. Rosie moved her tongue around, experimenting here and there, touching and grabbing Tanya as she moaned her heart out. Suddenly, Tanya was reminded of Donna. It all felt like Donna. Tanya tried shoving the thoughts out of her head, but her mind was in too many places. Rosie pumped her fingers in and out of Tanya as fast as she possibly could, trying to replicate what Tanya had done. Tanya couldn't help it. It was already too late. As Tanya came, she screamed Donna's name at the top of her lungs. This is when she knew she had gotten herself into some trouble.


	13. When I Kissed The Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

TRIGGER WARNING: ATTEMPT AT SUICIDE

"Excuse me?" Rosie said, clearly confused out of her mind. 

"What? I umm, I quite clearly said Rosie," Tanya attempted to fib. 

"Who the hell is Donna? And why are you screaming her name?" Rosie demanded. 

"Okay, fine. Last Friday, I was feeling really upset over what happened. I met a girl, Donna, at a diner, and she offered to take me out clubbing that night to help me loosen up a bit, and we ended up getting drunk and just well, you know. But Rosie please, listen to me, I'm so, so-" 

"I don't want to hear it, Tanya. I can't even be angry with you. I honestly can't. But I'm so insanely disappointed in you. And okay, maybe a bit mad. How could you not tell me something like this? Tanya, I did this. For you. I knew this is what you wanted. I cared about you and I thought you cared about me. But maybe I was wrong," Rosie said. 

"Rosie, please, listen to me-" Tanya began. 

"I'm going to stay at my friend's house tonight. I'll see you later in the week, Tanya." Rosie said disappointedly. 

Tanya couldn't even cry. She just hated herself for what had happened. She couldn't be upset because she knew it was all her fault. She lost Rosie's trust, and she screwed things up really bad. That night, Tanya did the only thing she could think of. Sure, maybe it didn't seem like the best idea, but in the moment it seemed like the only idea. Tanya called Donna and asked her what to do. She really just had no clue how she can fix this. Even Donna was clueless, and told Tanya she should give Rosie some space. Obviously, though, that was hard since they were roommates. Tanya decided she just would avoid talking to Rosie until she was ready to talk. She just couldn't believe her guilt lead her to do such a ridiculous thing as to scream Donna's, DONNA'S name. She felt foolish and angry. She wanted a do over. What she really needed was to change her ways. She needed to learn to be a bit more sensitive for Rosie.

An hour passed, as Tanya just lied in bed. When she heard the door click, she nearly jumped. It was Rosie. 

“Rosie! I’m so glad you’re back! I need you to listen to m-“

“I don’t want to hear it, Tanya. I just came here to grab a few things I left, is all.” Rosie said quietly. 

Rosie began to walk out the door before Tanya quickly grabbed her arm to turn her around. 

“Tanya! What the hell? Let go of me!” Rosie screamed. 

“Rosie, please, I need you to-“

“No, Tanya,” Rosie began raising her voice to a scream. “I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT. OKAY? DO YOU THINK ALL THESE DECISIONS WERE EASY FOR ME? TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY SEXUALITY, DECIDING TO BE WITH YOU JUST TO FIND OUT YOU WENT OFF AND HAD SEX WITH SOMEBODY ELSE? THESE DECISIONS TOOK A LONG TIME TO MAKE AND I DID IT ALL FOR YOU. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARED ABOUT THIS AND YOU JUST LET ME GO AHEAD AND MAKE A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF? WELL, IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH DONNA, GO BE WITH DONNA, YOU BIG OLD SLUT! GO HAVE SEX WITH DONNA ALL DAY IF YOU WANT, SINCE CLEARLY SHE CAN GIVE YOU MORE THAN I EVER WILL. SORRY I HAD ENOUGH SELF RESPECT FOR MYSELF TO NOT BE TREATED LIKE AN OBJECT, TANYA, BUT THIS. WHATEVER WE HAD. IT’S OVER TANYA. IT’S OVER! I’M SO SICK OF YOU. YOU’RE SUCH A SLUT. GOD, YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY. I REGRET DOING THAT WITH YOU, I REALLY DO. I HOPE THIS GUILT HANGS OVER YOUR HEAD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE KNOWING YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN. YOU’RE A FILTHY, LYING, SLUT, TANYA CHESHAM-LEIGH, AND NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE THAT!” Rosie ran out with a huff, tears streaming down her face as she spoke. Her face was red and she was panting, but Tanya knew better than to make sure she was okay. 

Tanya watched her run out. Tanya’s eyes stung in pain, not physically, but emotionally. She did feel the guilt. But even more than the guilt, the anger, the sadness, she just wish she could go back to how things used to be. Before her sexuality got all confusing, before she had ever decided to fake date Rosie and ruin everything. She just wished she could start everything over. She wanted to start her whole life over. 

Tanya looked over at the kitchen, then back in the mirror. ‘What have I become? I’m a terrible person. I don’t deserve Rosie. I don’t deserve my life.” Tanya said. She looked back over at the knife in the kitchen. She got up and grabbed the knife, and began running the water. 

As she stepped in and began to cut herself, Rosie stormed back in. 

“I came back for my toiletries, and that is all. I don’t want to hear a single word-“ she said as she entered the bathroom. She didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence, as it was interrupted by her own screams. Rosie frantically called 999, crying and freaking out. 

“Tanya, Tanya, Tanya can you hear me? Tanya please, please listen to me. Please let me know you’re here!” She cried. Her sobs didn’t end until long after they arrived at the hospital. Rosie was sent home for the night, but returned the next morning. Tanya claimed to the hospital she had been cutting something in the sink and it overflowed, but Rosie knew the truth. 

Rosie stayed home with Tanya that night. She didn’t speak to her, though, partially because she was mad, but partially because she didn’t know what to say. How was she supposed to make sure Tanya was okay? Rosie was conflicted with these issues, but she knew that Tanya’s life and health was so much more important than her anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to take a moment to talk about why I did what I did in this chapter. There are two big reasons.   
> 1) I feel like this really shows how even if you are seeing the world through somebody else’s eyes, you can never really know what is going around inside their head all the time and you can never really know their whole past and all kinds of stuff from it (which, yes, I will be covering in chapter 14)  
> 2) I have depression, and for me, this hits super close to home. There are so many times I have wanted to commit. I feel like Rosie putting her anger aside to help Tanya and to stay with her shows how people really do care about you, which is something I have been so grateful to learn recently. It is never worth it. It really isn’t. Things pop up, and sometimes they come off as pretty extreme, because you haven’t felt those thoughts in a long time. I have also hinted to Tanya possibly having depression in the past, being she grew up with no friends and with an unhealthy relationship with her family. 
> 
> I know what I did. I am sorry if I offended anybody. To me this was just something important that I needed to cover.


	14. I’ve Been Waiting For You

The next morning, two days since the incident, Tanya knew she owed Rosie an explanation. She knew she couldn’t let Rosie live her life thinking she was the reason Tanya nearly took her own life. 

“Rosie, can you come here? I feel like I owe you an explanation,” Tanya said. Rosie took a seat next to Tanya on her bed as Tanya began tearing up. 

“So, um, before I start this, I want you to know that you aren’t the reason I did what I did. Okay?” Rosie nodded her head. 

“Okay. So, um, when I was around 16, my parents began putting a lot of pressure on me. I began feeling depressed and was hard on myself. I thought I could never be as good as they wanted me to be. I had this constant weight on my shoulders, and each day it only weighed me down more. One day, I had done poorly on a test. My parents had been very verbally abusive at the time. Maybe even a bit physical. They yelled at me, they hit me, and they told me I was a disgrace to the family. They even implied that I might as well kill myself. I can still hear my mother’s voice ringing in my head. ‘Why couldn’t you have turned out better? You are the child we never wanted! Why are you still alive if you can’t even please your own parents’ she had said. I had been severely depressed for about a year at that point, and had already began cutting and stuff. That night, I attempted suicide. I couldn’t handle everything going on in my life. I had no friends, no family, nothing. I had nobody to talk to. My parents found me, and of course they rushed me to the hospital, but the following day, they had packed all my stuff and sent me to a ‘special camp’ that summer to help with my mental illness. But all that camp tried to do was convince me that I had to live because people would miss me. But I had nobody who would miss me. I had nobody at all. Nobody cared about me. My parents went to get help that summer, and things got better, but they were never truly good. I still had no friends, though, and remained very depressed. This past summer, I stayed home all day. I had nothing to do. My parents and I got into a nasty fight, and I almost killed myself again. But when I got to college, I was clean. I had you. You were the first person I ever wanted to live for. You were the reason I understood what it meant to want to be alive for somebody. So when I thought I had almost lost you the first time, I got scared. I didn’t want to return to my old ways. What I did was ridiculous, I know. And I’m not trying to use it as an excuse for anything. I was drunk and in pain and I just wanted to stay alive, because what if, just what if you wanted to be with me. When I thought I had lost you for real the other day, it broke me. I figured that if I couldn’t be good enough for you, if I couldn’t change for you, then I really had no point in living, since I didn’t have you anymore. I wanted to be better. I wanted you. I thought I lost you forever, and so I didn’t have any other reason to live. I know, I know this probably puts so much pressure on you, but I don’t want it to. I signed up for therapy, and I want to get better. I want to be able to be separate from you, and I need to learn to live for myself, not other people. Especially because I can’t just have you hanging around all the time so I don’t kill myself, and because I really don’t want you to have that guilt or pressure. It was never your fault, you didn’t know. I didn’t want to tell you, because I had been clean for so long. I was scared of what would happen if you found out. I was scared you would be too scared to be yourself, your own individual with a life and other relationships, if you were so worried about me dying because of it. But I feel now like I am supposed to be telling you this. I’m working on it, I promise. I want to change for you, be better for you. I want to make better decisions. And you deserve everything in the world and more. You really do,” she said as she began to cry. 

“And whoever you date, I will make sure they know just how lucky they are to have you. I want you to go out and live your life. Get drunk and do crazy shit, because god, you’re so adorable when you’re drunk. I don’t want to hold you back. I want to watch you go get a date, have fun, and live without the silly social construct of virginity hanging over your head. Because trust me, it’s not real. Sure, my first time may have been with Donna, but you will always be the time I will remember best. Because with you, I felt something more than just lust. I just want you to know that I care about you, okay? I care about you more than I’d like to, actually. But I just want you to be happy, that’s all” she said between sobs. Rosie had been teary eyed herself. 

“Tanya, I’m so sorry about what happened in your past. But today is a new day. It’s not the past anymore. You have overcome so many torturous parts of your past, and that’s your now. Your past won’t haunt you because your life, here and now, is what counts. And you’re right, virginity is silly. But regardless, I’m still happy I lost mine to you, even if it wasn’t you to me. There isn’t anybody I’d rather have sex with,” Rosie said with a laugh. “I care about you too. And believe me, you won’t need to tell my next date about how lucky they are to have me. You already did,” she said with a smile. “Tanya, there isn’t anybody else I want to be with. I want to be with you and only you. You were my first real love, and still are. We can get through this together, I promise. Just know I’ll be here every step of the way,” Rosie said, squeezing Tanya tight in a hug. 

Rosie leaned in, and she kissed Tanya shortly. As she pulled back, Tanya whispered in her ear. 

“I love you,” she said. 

Rosie leaned in to Tanya. 

“I love you too,” she whispered happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not the last chapter, guys, just stay tuned for 15 tomorrow which will be happy as hell!


End file.
